Some funny things we all must read to survive in this crazy world! This was sent to me by my friend, Steve! Thanks for the laughs!
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Things That Took Me Fifty Years To Learn!!
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1.) Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2.) If you have to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be “meetings”.
3.) There is a very fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness”.
4.) People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
5.) And when God, who created the entire universe with all of its glories, decides to deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.
6.) You should not confuse your career with your life.
7.) No matter what happens… somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
8.) When trouble arises & things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution & is willing to take command. Very often, that person is crazy.
9.) Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.
10.) A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
11.) Never lick a steak knife.
12.) Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.
13.) “The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
14.) You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
Hope you enjoyed these!
Thank you for stopping by!
Blessings!
-Janice-
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About jjspina
Janice is an multi-award-winning author with 35 books: 17 children's books for PS-Gr 4, 12 middle-grade/preteen/young adult books, written under Janice Spina, and 5 novels, and a short story collection written under J.E. Spina. She is also a writer of poetry, blogger, avid reader, reviewer and a copy editor. Janice has always loved writing and started very young writing poetry, then stories.
Her books have received 26 Book Awards and a few Finalists in contests.
AWARDS:
4 MOM'S CHOICE AWARDS - SILVER MEDAL - Lamby the Lonely Lamby, Ricky the Rambunctious Raccoon, Louey the Lazy Elephant, Jesse the Precocious Polar Bear
11 PINNACLE BOOK ACHIEVEMENT AWARDS - Davey & Derek Junior Detectives, Books 1, 2, 3, 5, & 6. Abby & Holly Series, Books 1-6
READERS' FAVORITE AWARDS - HONORABLE MENTION - Davey & Derek Book 1,
READERS' FAVORITE AWARDS - SILVER MEDAL - Davey & Derek Junior Detectives Series, Book 3
READERS' FAVORITE AWARDS - BRONZE MEDAL - Abby & Holly Book 1
READERS’ FAVORITE AWARDS - HONORABLE MENTION — Abby & Holly Book 2
READERS’ FAVORITE AWARDS - FINALIST - Davey & Derek Book 6
5 PINNACLE BOOK ACHIEVEMENT AWARDS - Jerry the Crabby Crayfish, Broose the Moose on the loose, Colby the Courageous Cat, Jeffrey the Jittery Giraffe, Sebastian Meets Marvin the Monkey
BOOK EXCELLENCE AWARD - FINALIST - Davey & Derek Book 6
Authorsdb Cover Contest Silver Medal - Davey & Derek Book 5
FINALISTS:
Authorsdb First Lines Contest, - Hunting Mariah and Mariah's Revenge were Finalists
Red City Review Awards - Finalist - Davey & Derek Book 4
READERS’ FAVORITE BOOK AWARDS - 5-STAR REVIEW - Davey & Derek Book 4
All Janice's books are available on Amazon.com, Kindle, B&N and other online book sites.
One of her sports' poems was published in The Lawrence Eagle Tribune in October of 2008. She is currently working on book 1 of a YA fantasy series. There will be six books in all in this series. She hopes to work on a series of four books in a crime/mystery genre that will be offsprings of her thriller, Hunting Mariah.
Her hobbies are crocheting, walking to keep fit, hula hooping, tap dancing, going to the movies with her husband, and spending time with her five grandchildren.
Janice loves to hear from readers and appreciates reviews. Sign up on her blog http://jemsbooks.blog for a copy of her newsletters under Contact Me. She lives in New Hampshire with her husband who is her illustrator and cover creator.
Purchase Jemsbooks
Thanks for my wake up giggles. 🙂 😀 😛
I loved them. Funny and wise. Thank you.
Reblogged this on Don Massenzio's Blog.
Thanks, Don! Did you receive my guest post and new book cover?
I did. Check your email in the next couple of hours. Thanks.